I’ll share a secret with you. I cannot stand when people tell me they have high standards. Like, it literally makes me cringe. Probably because when I ask them to describe those standards, it is almost EXACTLY what everyone else wants. Someone they are attracted to, compatible personality, responsible, trustworthy, loyal, and shares similar beliefs with. Essentially, basic human relationship needs. Nothing new here, honey.
Let me tell you what you actually mean. When you tell people that you have high standards, you’re actually telling them that you require, nay DESERVE, the bells and whistles. You need someone who is, in essence, the universal idea of perfection. Anything less than that would be to settle and quite frankly, you won’t do it. Here is the problem with this line of thinking; perfection doesn’t exist and if you don’t stop shooting yourself in the foot, you WILL be alone for a long time.
High standards individuals judge with their eyes (and other parts) first. If a potential suitor does not fit the “look” of someone they feel they are entitled to, they will not give the person a second thought. When involved with someone who does fit that look, oftentimes it ends in frustration. Why? Basic relationship standards are often thrown out the window when pitted against the need to fulfill your fantasy. Assumptions are made that this person has all the qualities you actually need in a partner, but you’ve never really done your due diligence before getting involved. Don’t blame them. That’s on you.
Do me a favor and just stop saying you have high standards. It says so much more about you than the other person. Your regular standards are underrated, but what really counts. Make sure your personalities are compatible, you enjoy each other’s company, share the same values, and want the same things in life. I promise you, you WILL have a better dating and relationship experience.