There is a way to work the online dating system.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article about online dating and how it is now an essential tool for singles to use when dating. The overwhelming feedback I received was mostly fear of jumping in or disappointment that it “doesn’t work for me”. Online dating, much like anything, takes a bit of getting used to (and a lot of understanding) before getting any real benefit out of it. I decided to write a follow up blog explaining just how to work the online dating system. Let’s dig in.
Stand out as much as possible: An overwhelming majority of online dating profiles are forgettable, at best. Poor quality photos, canned summaries, and unrealistic expectations of their ideal match are the biggest turnoffs. If you were to look objectively at your profile, would you say that it stands out or do you quietly say “Meh..”. If you are the latter, you need to up your profile game. Before just throwing something up on a profile, really take the time to craft your story. Why should anyone care to get to know you? What do you do, know, or believe that makes you unique? Make sure your photos are recent, of excellent quality, and show you in the BEST light possible (seriously, natural light WORKS). Most people don’t just have Glamour Shots photos lying around; professional photos are totally up to you. Just make sure that it is consistent with the story. The three to five photos you’ll need: a head shot, a body shot, a shot of you doing something you’re passionate about, and a snazzy, knock their socks off type of shot.
The more you use it, the better the outcome: One of the biggest mistakes people after they put up a profile is to stop logging in or take it down altogether when they don’t get the responses they’re looking for. The more frequent you log in and interact with people, the better your chances of finding a match. Make it a point to log in and interact (or respond to messages) at least 2 to 3 times a week. Inconsistent online daters are not dating, they are lurking.
Get on to get off: With millions of people on a dating site every day and the growing number of online dating platforms, comes the inevitable “FOMO” or Fear of Missing Out. This person is okay, but I think I can find better. That person is attractive, but I’m sure there are five others just like him/her. The illusion of abundance makes it so that we don’t want to invest in anyone. My recommendation: if you want to be successful at online dating, find the first person you have a good connection or rapport with and quickly transition offline. Face to face is best; you don’t want to find yourself in phone tag land. Make it a point to have a 3 or 4 message minimum. Once you’ve reached a certain number of back and forth online, it’s time to take it off.
There you have it folks. No secret formula. No complicated rules. Stand out, craft your story, have a killer picture, represent the best version of you, and then GET OFF!